A Harness for Men?
Most folks assume that the only people wearing strap-on dildos are women and transgender men. And while it’s true that those are probably the most likely harness users, cisgender men can also wear harnesses. But until SpareParts HardWear came out with the Deuce, there weren’t many options. Yes, some guys managed to use some other strap-ons, but they weren’t well designed for their anatomy and they weren’t all that successful. Fortunately, that’s now changed.
The Deuce’s design gives you a lot of options for sexy fun. The pouch is shaped like a jockstrap so you can keep your penis inside, if you like. That makes it a great choice for men who have erection difficulties, which is pretty common after having prostate surgery to treat cancer. It’s also a fantastic option when your partner prefers a different size than your own penis. I recently worked with a couple who both enjoyed anal intercourse, but his penis was too big for comfort. So they decided to try using a harness with a smaller dildo. I wasn’t sure whether they were planning on using it instead of his penis or as a warm-up to make intercourse easier, but either way, they were excited to have a new way to have fun.
Double Penetration Fun
Where the Deuce really shines, though, is in double penetration. Most folks who enjoy simultaneous vaginal and anal intercourse have had to arrange threesomes. But that’s not something everyone wants to do. Besides, while it can be fun, the positions that work for that are somewhat limited since you’re trying to fit three bodies together. With the Deuce, the guy wearing it slips his penis through the lower ring and wears a dildo in the upper one. If his partner is facing him, his penis will be in her ass and the dildo will be in her vagina. Facing the other way reverses that.
This combination lets you get into positions that a DP in a threesome can’t quite manage because you only have to fit two bodies together. You also get the dildo and his cock moving in unison, which rarely happens for long in a threesome. Of course, you have many more choices in size and shape when picking a dildo. (The Charm is awesome for this, by the way.) And lastly, the guy wearing the Deuce can feel the dildo against the shaft of his cock when thrusting, so there’s a lot of added pleasure for him.
Great For Sex With Erection Difficulties
If you’re thinking of checking out the Deuce because of erection difficulties, you might want to read the article Restoration of Satisfying Sex for a Castrated Cancer Patient with Complete Impotence: A Case Study. I know- it’s a terrible title. But the article has some really amazing stuff to offer. It details the story of a man who had a radical prostatectomy to treat prostate cancer and had complete erectile dysfunction afterward. For many men, this is a temporary situation, but for this fellow, it was permanent. At first, he resisted the idea of using a dildo and harness, but eventually gave it a try. While he was using it with his wife, she put some lube on her hand and stroked his cock as he thrust in and out. In his words:
There was little sensory difference between this act and intercourse—my penis was not in her vagina but it did not know that. It was in a wet, warm place being firmly mechanically stimulated. My hindbrain took over, and I carried the act through to orgasm, to the sexual satisfaction of both my partner and myself.
That’s pretty amazing and offers hope to a lot of men who have temporary or permanent erection difficulties for any reason, including health issues, stress, or having already had an ejaculatory orgasm. While this couple made it work before the Deuce was available, I’m willing to bet that they’d enjoy the Deuce more since it’s a better design for this use.
And can I just say that using a strap-on can be really freeing for guys? It takes a fair bit of practice and attention to have intercourse for a lot of us because we have to manage our stimulation and arousal. Too much and we ejaculate before we (or our partners) want. Too little and our erections might get softer than we need for penetration. Unless we use a medication like Viagra, most men are paying at least some attention to those competing challenges. When you use a dildo, you don’t have to think about that at all, which lets you focus entirely on giving your partner lot of pleasure.
I’m not saying that we should stop having intercourse the “regular” way or that we should assume that our partners want intercourse for hours. But you might be really surprised at how freeing it is to be able to please your partner without needing to think about anything else at the same time. Besides, if you enjoy being pegged, it’s pretty amazing to see what it’s like on the other side of the harness.
A Few Tips For Using The Deuce
- Pick a dildo without testicles. You need to fit the base just above your penis, so you’ll want a toy with a round base, not with balls.
- Make sure your partner is warmed up before trying double penetration. You’ll need to start off even more carefully than usual since there’s a lot happening all at once.
- If you pull out completely, be sure to not let the dildo and your penis come into contact with each other since that could transmit lube and bacteria from her ass to her vagina- a big no-no! If they do touch, simply change the condom on whichever one is going into her vagina.
- It’s much easier to get the dildo through the ring if you put a condom on it since that lubricates the shaft and lets the ring slip on.
So there you have it. The Deuce gives you a lot of options you probably didn’t even know existed. Double penetration without having to sift through OKCupid for another partner, more choices in size and positions, intercourse without an erection- the Deuce makes them all possible. And it’s machine washable, super comfortable, and is really well designed.
If you want to pick one up, head over to Good Vibrations and pick one up. While you’re there, be sure to check out the dildos and lubricants. They’ve got lots of great ones to choose from!
Charlie
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
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